Breaking up is never easy I know…
…Love a bit of Abba! Honestly singing and laughing are two of the best things in life that will make you feel instantly better about things – trust me!
Today’s post is a bit different and quite a personal one. You might want to grab a cuppa’…
It happens to the best of us, not to everyone, but for those who go through it will know, it’s one of the harder things in life. But life does go on.
Hands up who has ever been in love? Hands up who has fallen out of love? Hands up who has been heartbroken? Hands up who has felt lost? Hands up who has felt free? I had my hand up for all of these. They are completely natural emotions to feel when going through a break up! It can be really hard trying to deal with them, especially if it’s the first time it’s happened to you.
Before being in a relationship you are independent and free to be you. Once you get in a relationship, you are obviously still you but you have an extension of you aswell. You put a lot of time and energy into the other person and they become a really big part of your life. It’s a different level of friendship, you always have someone there that has your back, you have someone to say goodnight to and good morning to and to “listen” to all your moaning and random chatter at all times. So when things go wrong or end it is really difficult… You are left feeling sad, alone and numb. It is a really horrible feeling when a relationship ends. It’s hard, I’m not going to lie about it. It’s like trying to forget a big part of your life and going solo is a really odd feeling.
But you will get through it! You just have to let it all out, which I know can be hard but it’s so important! Have a good cry whether you were the dumper or dumpee, let it all out to your friends or family. It is sad when you separate from someone you once thought the world of.
Finding yourself again can be hard too. When all you want to do is go crawl under a rock and hide. But you really need to pick yourself up again and as hard as it sounds, move on, for yourself.
I went through the this a few months ago, this is all coming from the heart and what I felt. I am only writing this now as I am in a good place and have overcome all of the inital emotions. I saw something on Twitter which inspired me to write this post and I hope by sharing this it may help someone feeling a bit rubbish going through this!
I started off feeling like I had wasted two years of my life, and my energy on someone. I didn’t want to eat or socialise, for me this is so weird as I love food and you can’t get me away from socialising normally! I just didn’t feel like me! I soon realised that had to change… I focussed my energy on working out, socialising with the amazing people in my life and obviously on my blog! Seriously my blog and going to the gym really did help me get through it as they were both positive things I could put all my time and energy into when I was alone.
My top tips are:
- Surround yourself with positive people who love you. They really will make you smile and forget about things, plus they will get you ice cream (unless you have a friend like mine who buys you the one flavour you don’t like!)
- Focus your energy on positive things such as your hobby, interests, the gym or even book something to look forward to. This will take any negative energy that you could waste and puts it in to something positive, making you happy.
- Don’t look back on things and regret them. They once made you happy and are just one chapter of your life.
- Take down any pictures that could upset you. I had a spring clean, which I found really refreshing and I got rid of any constant reminders.
- Try and avoid the “ex” on social media, I would even go as far as deleting/unfriending/unfollowing them as you probably will be tempted to “stalk”.
- Be honest with yourself and the “ex” – this is vital in a breakup and for closure. It’s the worst thing having unanswered questions or things left unsaid.
It does take time, but being single is brilliant. Once you have got through the inital emotional stage, you realise it’s for the best and you can focus on yourself, enjoy life, push yourself to do new things.
I am a firm believer of things happen for a reason and I’m looking forward to what the future holds!
A n n a